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To not know & own it

from Communion by Kory Young

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about

When home stands in the way of being who you truly are, even home is not the place for you.

Through judgement, ostracism, idolization and neurosis,
the culture that raised me taught me to hate myself. But that very environment is what made courage, risk, and belief my best friends. When you are consumed by pain, anxiety or sadness, being free is the last thing you believe is possible. But if you break the cycle once, that power is enough to teach you that you can do it again. Ignore the opposition and trust in whatever you have in that moment. Even if it's nothing more than the belief that you want goodness.

lyrics

Keep your eyes on the prize
Feet on the staircase
Be a slave until
you think freely

Just to not know and own it
Just to show up for yourself
Just to not know and own it
Just to be true to me

and all I know
is I don't belong home
not right now

Keep your eyes on the prize
Keep your feet in the ice skates
be a maze until
you reach the end

Just to not know and own it
Just to show up for yourself
Just to not know and own it
Just to be true to me

all I know
is I don't belong home
not right now

Here they come, stand your ground
Beedy eyed little judges
5 seconds on the shot clock
Mamba* taught me well

Just to not know and own it
Just to show up for yourself
Just to not know and own it
Just to be truly me
(Just to be who I be)

and all I know is I don't belong home
not right now, not right now
all I know is I don't belong home
not right now

* - without question the greatest player to ever play the game of basketball. Kobe Bryant.

credits

from Communion, released May 15, 2023

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Ben Enalo New York

Ben Enalo is the pseudonym chosen by African-American singer, composer and engineer Kory Young. A vagabond forced to wander outside the Hip Hop & Classical worlds of his birth. "This is the music of the wanderer."

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